feelings that are hard to admit

every morning when i wake up
i still get confused for a moment
by the cool spot next to me
and my legs collapse
when i try to stand.
holding myself on my knees
I choke down air
still tainted with your scent
though your perfume
is meant for another.
hanging my head near my sholders
a tear falls from my nose
and when it lands on the ground
I whisper "I hate you" and it's white.
months of shackled rage
flow to my legs
and I'm ok to stand