lines I couldn't write til now

I'm quite a sight,
walking myself
up a mountain with
my arms pulled
behind my back and holding
a snowboard close to my body.
I'm stumbling in the snow.
I'm nearly colapsing as
I choke on a four-year bullet
I don't try to hide
tears for there is noone else
on the mountain this day.
The crying doesn't burn
hot enough and I yell staring
up "YOU WERE A FUCKING CHILD"
all the while continuing
my march up this hill
because you'll be so proud
when i can go down without falling.