here's how i walk on water

ok so for a while now i'd been kinda pondering on my religious views. i used to be quite the "holy roller" and i felt some kind of compulsion to look into it again. I did. I do not believe. I just don't think we can ever know. we can think we do. but the truth is, as jack johnson says "we're clever, but we're clueless". i do think something exists, but i just don't know what. I do NOT believe it to be the christian god. I just don't believe in a god that would make people, put them through shit on earth, and then send some of them to hell for crap they do because they are imperfect by his design. and that whole believe in jesus and be forgiven crap. are you seriously going to tell me that all knowing perfect god just one day realized "hmmm these human's ain't doing so great....maybe i should make it easier for them."? if there is a creator, i believe it to be more benevolent. I mean, come on!!! I'm going to make humans and then tempt them with fruit they aren't supposed to eat and see what happens but also not KNOW what will happen despite the fact i am omnipotent. and if this life is all i have well then who gives a shit. i'll go through life, be happy, and when i die, i'm not going to be bitching about there being no after life because i will no longer exist. anywho, i wrote this about my whole thought process. i'm not exactly atheist but i still feel like i needed to write this poem just the say i did. hope you aren't offended by it. and if you are, sorry i guess? not really. this is me. take it or leave it.

My own revelations

self crafted
I am my own
God. I am
the alpha. I am
the omega. I am
a totem of
unstopable force
wielding my destiny
like a six gun.
At night, while
You pray, your
pleas and cries, it's
to me you speak,
and your whispers
are not but the
buzz of mosquitoes
in my ear. so
just shut the fuck
up and get some sleep