looking myself in the mirror after having lunch with Roger

He hadn't seen me since
i began building myself.
"You're massive!"
he let out impulsively
and later,
standing naked in the mirror,
those words seem inescapable.
I took myself in
as though seeing myself
in a virgin glance.
I stared myself strait in the blues
and i remembered a picture i had
seen of myself in the kitchen
earlier that night.
I was smiling with my whole face.
in the picture, my eyes
were gentle and trusting.
now they seemed forged.
i ran my right hand along my left bicep
while i flexed it
and stood surprised
at the firmness i found. I realized
that i carried myself differently now.
i showed this armor so drastically
so maybe i could even believe it.
i havn't become jaded exactly,
but i sure think of the world differently,
and it's so cliché but it bears repeating
that nice guys finish last,
nice guys finish last
nice guys finish wondering
if they'll ever have that smile again.