i'll come up with a title at some point i guess

it's a decent sized state
this Maine. Portland is
a decent sized city. but despite
the space i find a liscence plate
with your name dwells
on the same block as myself.
I found it this yesterday morning.
as i was leaving this town for a trip.
i was in my car,
thinking of a conversation i had
with a spider. i asked the spider
"where is she? if i'm supposed to find someone,
where is she?"
i was thinking about this when i saw your name
on the liscence plate. i pondered
if signs or plates should be
taken seriously.

later that night, i was drunk.
yeah, i was pretty drunk.
and for a moment i was aloof
from my friends as i stared at my phone
and i stared at your name
outlined in green. it didn't look
the way it did
on that liscence plate but it
was all the same letters. I
wanted to text you. hardly the
perfect gesture of romance but
i wanted to send you a stupid
drunken text and tell you i loved you
and type a few words wrong and wake
up and pretend that i wasn't sure if
i had sent it to you or not but
i would have known. but instead
i just closed my phone and went to bed.

I ate a fortune cookie today.
i don't think many people do this
but i always eat the cookie
before i read the fortune
because if you do, the fortune comes
true. i read it. it said:
"You and your wife will be very happy with your life"
and i ate the cookie first
so it's going to come true.

starting to be down with living down here. someone jacked my friggin bike seat though. that pissed me off so i now keep my bike in the dorm room instead of outside locked up. i feel like i need to say something more but i don't know what. i guess because my "rah rah portland sucks" message was quite a bit longer. but yeah, had a fun night at Mark West's place and met some cool folks and it all feels peachy keen. ummmm had some decent Japanese today. still don't like working in the mall though. it's mondo suck. well like our store is pretty decent. way laid back. but malls are not my thang. "when was the last time that you gazed upon a shopping mall, and thought 'how beautiful'?" -Rx bandits. oh probably going to venture to nescom on friday. sha-zam.

it's funky but i like it

i just wrote this as an AIM away message..i don't know...i kind of think it kicks ass.

all these words but where?
where with these words?
and do words mean anything without a destination?
and did you know that we are over 99% empty space?
maybe the words belong in the space between my electrons and protons.
and don't forget the neutrons.
they're the glue...

and for effect this is aim font now.

-fin

p.s. does this need more for an ending?

that ledge made me realize just how dreadful life in this death of a zip code is

yesterday was a bit
too hot but it was
beautiful none the less.
yesterday,
i sat on a ledge
that felt part of the atmosphere
and myself part of the air
while we contemplated
if we could hang glide all
the way to the
blue shimmer in the distance.
i almost panicked as
footing nearly fell, but not
as I panic now. I'm stuck in
a shopping mall parking lot
remembering the lunch i ate.
i stared strait ahead and
the people all
began to move in slow motion.
their words, their movements, their faces
all fading. it all goes nowhere.
it's just words and movement and faces.
staring back at me now are five
rocks from the mountain still
in my passenger seat.
i've never seen rocks that shimmered
red and gold like these. they are beautiful.
looking at them.
I feel terrible. how could i have
done such a thing? these rocks belong
in the clouds, not the passenger seat
of a ford in a parking lot.
i've wronged them. I look
at the rocks and feebly muter "we'll
be somewhere beautiful
again someday" and that's all
i can tell them because I
have to return to work
before i can figure out what
else to tell them.

fools

i was biking around portland a few days ago and i saw a great blue heron fishing. he was as close as he was magnificent. i stopped my bike to watch him. the trail was busy but i was the only one who stopped. why? why was i the one who looked like some idiot because i stopped to watch this wonder? the other people around me are the fools who passed him by as though he were a blade of grass melding into a lawn. seriously, portland sucks and my distaste for this city environment is only enhanced by my genuine contempt for roughly 98% of those with whom i share residence. i miss the sticks. I miss farmtown. I miss china. for both i miss the environment and the people. luckily i plan on frequenting the farm. i have to if i am to remain sane. had a marvelous trip there this past weekend. much thanks to all those involved in the weekend especially the tumbledown trip crew.