as you can these things are special to me somehow

last night i went for a night walk because i just need to do that sometimes. i saw a whole field lit up from a million fireflies. I saw one fly by me and i didn't even care that i was moving across the lawn of someone i hardly know, i just had to catch that little thing. and when i did, somehow the sight of the legs and wings and glow crawling across my open hand let me know that things are going to go well. oddly enough though if i'm honest the view of that field created a strange mix of joy and sadness. i guess because it was beautiful. It seemed more like a display of the heavens than of biology. the moon behind it was perfect. it was just stunning but i can't get it across right. you see, words are nothing. speak of the power of words all you want but i would have traded every word i've ever spoken for a hand to hold. someone to share that moment with. and i'm sure i'll see fireflies again in a patern that will steal my entire being but that field and that one single bug brought me back to life i swear. and the fact that i can never share that moment with someone else and let the world understand the rapture i felt makes me sad. that's quite a concept.