to candice unintentionally

today i think i'll sit around and listen to songs you don't like; maybe pretend the distance between us is more indicative of the distance between our hearts.

but the truth is, you help me understand why the sun comes up and remember what joy there is in laughter.

it kills me a little that after all this time you still have some strange hold over me. yes i still love you. i truly thought i would never see you again, but here you are. i had moved on sort of. I realized i would always love you, but i had sort learned to deal with that, and hoped i could find someone else, and make you a distant murmur in my heart.

I'm taking the best advice i know. I'm shielding myself a little bit incase this turns to more heartache. i can't let myself be completely destroyed by you again. but I'm not letting that jade my vision too badly. I still believe Candice; You should be with me. Please though, if you can't give me your heart, at least be a total bitch. Make me hate you a little; It hurts loving you the way i have to right now.

I may make a poem out of some of this sentiment in this as some point, but not now.

You know candice i also hope you finally talk to me strait from the heart about how you feel about me. I know you have to some extent, but i need to really know.

and you are so damn beautiful.